What schools are actually watching at open days — before you even apply

I want to be careful about how I write this piece, because I'm aware that framing every school visit as a surveillance exercise will make the whole experience feel paranoid and exhausting. That is not my intention. But parents deserve to know what is happening at open days, because they are operating with incomplete information and sometimes making small, avoidable mistakes that leave an impression.

Here is the truth: open days are informational events. They are genuinely designed to help families learn about the school. They are also, at every school I know of, an informal observation opportunity. These two things coexist. They are not in tension.

The registration desk

At the majority of sought-after kindergartens, the staff member managing registration at the open day is not the admin assistant. They are a senior teacher or the Vice Principal. Sometimes it is me.

What we were doing: taking your name and child's name, confirming your booking, handing you a programme. What we were also doing: having a very brief interaction with you and, where possible, with your child.

The registration moment is genuinely short — 30 to 60 seconds. But in that window, I would notice: does the parent engage their child in the exchange ("Say hello to the teacher!") or treat the child as a package to be carried to the next station? Does the child look up? If I addressed the child directly — "Hello! What's your name?" — what happened?

I was not making pass/fail decisions at the registration desk. But I was noticing, and my noticing informed the atmosphere of warmth or concern I brought to reviewing that child's application later. That is not a rigid process. It is human. But it is real.

The waiting area between arrival and tour

Most open days involve a period of waiting before the formal tour begins. This period is not incidental — it is often the longest informal observation window of the day.

At our school we had a small play area in the waiting space. It was stocked with appropriate toys for the target age: simple puzzles, picture books, some building blocks. Parents and children would typically wait for 10 to 15 minutes.

What I was watching: how the child used the space. Did they approach the toys with any independence? Did they need the parent to initiate every interaction? Was there any spontaneous interest?

What I was also watching: the parents. Were they on their phones? Were they coaching their child even now — "Look at the books! Pick up the book! Show the teacher you like books!"? Or were they simply sitting together, available, not performing?

The family that sat quietly together, let the child explore at their own pace, and were simply present without an agenda — that family was showing me something. The parent who spent the waiting time whispering instructions to a 2.5-year-old who was visibly trying to escape into the corner was also showing me something.

The tour itself

The tour is usually led by the Principal or Head of Admissions. Parents are invited to ask questions. Children come along.

This is an opportunity, not an assessment. The tour is designed to help you evaluate whether the school fits your family. Please actually use it for that. Ask about teaching approach. Ask about class size. Ask about how the school handles children who take longer to settle. Ask about the language of instruction and how it changes from K1 to K3. This information matters.

What I also observed during tours: whether parents were genuinely listening, or whether they were scanning for confirmation of what they'd already decided. The parent who spends the tour asking questions designed to perform familiarity with educational theory ("we're very interested in your approach to Reggio Emilia-inspired practice") was less useful to me than the parent who asked "how do you help children who cry every morning for the first month?"

The second question tells me something real about what the family needs. The first tells me the parent has done their research on what impresses admissions officers.

Photography and note-taking

Parents who take notes during open days — actual written notes, in a notebook — register positively. It suggests genuine engagement, memory care, comparison across schools. It suggests someone making a considered decision.

Parents who spend the entire open day filming on their phone, capturing the facilities for later review, often miss the actual substance of the visit. I also noticed that parents who are filming are not watching. And the child, left less attended-to for 45 minutes, often becomes more fractious by the end.

What you should take from this

Open day observation is not a trap. It is simply the reality that schools form impressions of families from first contact, and those impressions exist as background context when applications are reviewed.

The most useful thing you can do at an open day is be genuinely yourself: interested, present, and appropriately relaxed. You are there to find out if this school is right for your family. Approach it like that — not like an audition — and you will make a better impression than parents who have prepared a performance.

Authenticity is, quite reliably, more impressive to experienced educators than preparation. We've seen the preparation many times. We're always looking for the real thing.